Thursday, March 29, 2012

Journal Entry


Our first six months of missionary life for Annie and I in Fiji has been a unique combination of the mundane (living and “surviving” in a 3rd world country), and the reverent.  I’ve wanted for some time to describe this ironic mix but already know in advance that words will be inadequate.  When the Book of Mormon missionary, Ammon, struggled to convey the reverent he acknowledged that he could say only “the smallest part which I feel” (Alma 26:16); and Joseph Smith similarly bemoaned the dark and narrow “prison of pen and ink.”  So at the outset, I’m aware that deep feelings will be difficult to describe in a way that accurately reflects the experience we’re having -- but I want to try.

What I now relate is something of a composite experience of teaching in the homes of those who are inquiring into the beliefs of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Eventually, some of them will decide for any number of reasons that they do not want to “come unto Christ and be baptized in his name” at this time; while others will have that magical experience of study and prayer that leads them to feel the truth of what we have shared in such a way as to overcome all the barriers of discipleship.  They come to know for themselves that God lives and that they are divine sons and daughters of that God – a singular experience that changes everything.  Regardless of what these “investigators” experience, Annie and I are simultaneously having our own personal experience with each person and every lesson.  Lessons don’t always go well, and Fijians are very hard to read (they have a cultural way of silence), but each experience is sacred in its own way.

Try to picture sitting on a woven mat laid over a cement or dirt floor in a little home.  The mats are treasured signals of sociality, painstakingly made from the leaves of the Voivoi plant especially suited for that purpose.  Once prepared by boiling, drying, splitting, and weaving, they become the signal of an invitation to sit and talk.  When you come to one of these bare-bones homes unexpectedly, you may see those inside scurry to get their mat and spread it out to welcome you.  It will not do to sit on the cement as they may have been doing before you arrived; no, the conversation is always honored by laying out one or more mats so that all may be seated on them. They are wonderfully smooth and “comfortable” even though there is no padding – they just have a nice feel to them.  Fijian culture dictates that guests of honor sit in the “highest” location on the mat.  Sometimes that is literally elevated because the floors are often uneven, but other times they have a way of knowing what is the head place and what is not and they always solicit you to sit there (however, in our untrained eye we cannot tell that location so we wait for them to signal us).  When you enter, you try not to walk in front of anyone (considered rude), and you get very low, bending over and apologizing for the disturbance as you reach out to greet them with a handshake or perhaps the women will pull you close to their cheek as they both smell you and give you an affectionate kiss.

In the villages, the homes are varied but so much the same – often a single room divided by hanging cloths for sleeping areas. Some homes are very small, perhaps 12’x16’ and others larger with separate rooms.  But there is often nothing much in them.  Electricity is dear and may or may not exist, as is running water.  That means, of course, you may or may not have light during an evening meeting unless a kerosene lamp is brought out.  There is often no refrigerator, no outlets, no electrical appliances or entertainment (TV, radio, music, etc.).  We carry a little flashlight to read scriptures from as needed (Fijians call flashlights a “torch”).  Where electricity is available, they use it sparingly being very conscious of its cost. If they do have electricity, they may also have an old television hooked up to some ingenious antenna, like a defrocked umbrella hanging on the roof edge. The walls are generally corrugated metal, as is the roof with the studs and ceiling supports open to view.  There are always windows and door openings but not always a door, and the window holes may simply be an opening, or have louvered glass, but rarely a screen.  They depend on the breeze to cool them, and everything – birds, insects, rats and mice, frogs and geckos seem to come and go through the home as easily as the owners; no one pays much attention to their presence and do not treat them as intruders. Most homes have a little round kerosene stove on which to cook inside as needed but all have a main outdoor “kitchen” (either attached to the house, or a few feet away) where they do most of the cooking over a wood fire.  By kitchen, we mean that there is a rude wooden counter with a piece of corrugated metal for a roof covering and an elevated fire location made from stones or metal scraps. Toilets are generally “outhouses” and people commonly bathe in a nearby stream or river.

When you visit a village, poverty is apparent everywhere with dirty kids and ragged clothing but it’s amazing how well they clean up each day when they leave the village for school or church and they look very nice, taking pride in presenting themselves well.  School kids all wear uniforms and generally have one or two of them that they hand wash each day.  At home they are playful and joyous, entertaining themselves as millions before them by inventing games outdoors with sticks, rocks, climbing trees and playing in streams. Their bare feet are hardened leather and they run over stones and debris with no apparent notice. It’s really wonderful to see and be with them.  Jesus said; “for ye have the poor with you always” and that their reward would be in heaven.  “They” may have to wait but in so many humbling ways, Annie and I do not have to wait for our reward as we meet with these wonderful people and feel blessed by our association.

Everything is simple but very functional here and every Fijian knows how to live off the land.  That doesn’t mean you’ll live well, but around the home and village there will be Cassava and Taro plants (“Dalo,” in Fijian), coconut and papaya trees, perhaps some breadfruit and bananas will also be near.  Cassava is the mainstay (on Viti Levu) – a very starchy, heavy and dry root that grows readily and is filling but likely has little nutritional value.  I once asked a family if they ate Cassava everyday because that was our common observation (many eat it more than once).  Some of the kids said, “yes;” but the woman protested, saying, “maybe not every day – we’d throw up.” However, if you’re hungry it seems you can always get full on Cassava and it appears to us that along with some tea, that may constitute the whole meal at times.  Fijians are almost universally cash poor but rarely starving and they will generally offer you something to eat or drink even if that means they will have little left for them – and they want you to eat first (while they all sit and watch you).  We try not to do either, both for health reasons and more importantly, to let them conserve the little they have for their own family.  If we do eat with them, we try to prevail against tradition and encourage them to eat with us.

With all of the foregoing as context and background, back now to impressions and experiences when we teach in these humble Fijian homes and among a people so sweet and simple that they easily melt your heart:

We drove far out into a farming settlement last week to teach a family of 2 boys and 2 girls, the mother and father, grandma and aunti.  The parents are members of the LDS Church but never taught their children before now and had not been active in church for some years.  It was getting dark as we arrived and parked just off the main dirt road and began walking toward the home on a hill about a hundred yards distant.  We walked down a muddy path to a stream and I was just in front of Annie when I noticed a naked boy finishing his “bath.”  We stopped and moved back slightly to give him some privacy and then we all walked together up the hill to the home.  The path is an old road, which has largely been taken over by nature.  Rivulets of water flowed down its grooves, toads were hopping around, and we dodged the horse manure as we picked our way up the hill.

Depending on the circumstance, we often show people the brief or long version of the movie: “Joseph Smith – Prophet of the Restoration” which depicts the early 1800’s life and experience of Joseph Smith and that’s what we had planned for the lesson that evening (available on YouTube or at LDS.org).  The setting in the film is foreign to modern Western culture but absolutely current in Fijian life.  So there we were, sitting on a mat with the family teaching about the essential role of prophets and of this one young man in the year 1820 (Joseph Smith) who sought God and longed to know for himself how and where to worship.

As we viewed the film, we saw the Smith’s simple log cabin and I looked around thinking that the little house we were in was not likely much different – it contains just what you need to live and not much more.  The movie depicted farm animals and oxen yoked to plow and there was not a notice of surprise because these Fijian farmers see working “bullocks” every day with their yoked burden trudging through the plowed ground or munching grass along the roadside.  People in the movie rode horses for their transportation and the horse of this Fijian family was just out back nibbling on the grass.  Somehow my mind wandered as I noticed the insects crawling over the mat, flying ones biting us, and geckos on the wall doing their best to decrease the number of irritating pests.  I thought back to a time in another home when Annie asked if I had seen the large spider on the wall near us and I remarked that I hadn’t because I was too busy digging bugs out of my hair and watching the rats. But was this any different than in the pioneer days of Joseph Smith?  Not much I would think.  And how different is it really than in millions of homes of humble people across the world – more homes than the clean and pristine and wealthy ones I’m sure.  This is life for most people, and they seemingly pay little attention to their poverty and related circumstances. Despite the heat and sweat and bugs and lack of modern conveniences, there in that little home we felt the Spirit of God and testified that the story they had just seen was true.  They too are children of their Father in Heaven who loves them dearly and wants for them to experience joy that transcends the mundane eking out a living in the cane fields of Fiji.

Fijians are simple, but not unintelligent.  When we teach them we do so in simple terms – partly because of the language barrier and partly because life and faith are simple things for them.  We speak of faith in the biblical terms of believing in something that is true but for which we do not have complete knowledge; knowing that through prayer, study, and obedience we can gain that knowledge.  We speak of living prophets and apostles today in just as much reality as though we all were living in biblical times.  We speak of the Father and Son restoring the New Testament church organized by Christ, and of the “plan of happiness” by which we may all return to their presence after this life (and do so as families).  It’s all very simple and we don’t have to pour through scriptures to prove a point or carry on an extended intellectual examination to establish a precept.  We ask them how they feel about these things and they say, “good.”  We ask them if they believe them, and they say “yes.”  To them it doesn’t seem very complicated.  Of course it is always easier to talk than act but that is something for them to determine on their own. During the lessons, they count it respectful to simply listen and agree if they agree, or to quietly let you move on if they don’t agree.

I think of all the years of academics in my career and my deep love of thinking things through and examining every facet.  I have felt invited and challenged by Peter who encouraged believers to “be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you” (1 Peter 3:15).  I know Heavenly Father gave us a brain and expects us to use it and I love the statement from Joseph Smith inviting our best thinking: “The things of God are of deep import, and time and experience and careful and ponderous and solemn thoughts can only find them out.  Thy mind, O Man, if thou wilt lead a soul unto salvation, must stretch as high as the utmost Heavens, and search into and contemplate the lowest considerations of the darkest abyss, and expand upon the broad considerations of the eternal expanse; [we] must commune with God.”

Though I’ve loved those years of constant examination and critical thinking, I’m also aware of the pitfalls of pride and have observed too many whose intellects had paralyzed their faith.  James E. Faust observed that, “there is a certain arrogance attached to intellect.”  And a Book of Mormon prophet says it best I think when he cautioned: “O that cunning plan of the evil one! O the vainness, and the frailties, and the foolishness of men!  When they are learned they think they are wise, and they hearken not unto the counsel of God, for they set it aside, supposing they know of themselves, wherefore, their wisdom is foolishness and it profiteth them not . . . But to be learned is good if they hearken unto the counsels of God” (2 Nephi 9:28-29).  I love that last line.

There are none of these intellectual trappings in Fiji, so far as we have experience.  You teach as clearly and simply as you can and they respond in kind. We really come to know how they feel as we watch them act on the information we’ve shared in the coming days.  At then end of each lesson we have a prayer and if they enjoyed the evening and appreciated what you’ve taught they smile and give three little muted palm claps – it’s strange to us, but a sweet way of acknowledging their gratitude.

As we left that home last week, we stepped out into the warm wind that was picking up strength, forecasting a coming storm.  The family kindly asked if we needed the kids to accompany us to our truck but we had brought our torches (flashlights), and told them we’d find our way just fine. The whole night seemed heavenly to me in such simple ways and I was filled with love for them, our opportunities as missionaries, and for Annie.  She had taught and shared her testimony with directness and power, but always with tenderness and affection.  She did not complain about the mosquitos or bugs or another night sitting cross-legged on a hard floor.  We shook hands in the Fijian way, gave hugs and off we went onto the rutted path in the dark, Annie holding up her dress to protect from the mud and both of us grateful again that we can wear sandals here.  We picked our way down the path, crossed the stream and up the other side to the truck.  Passing another little home we saw a man making brooms from palm fronds and we wished him well.  It is the off-season for cane workers and he was finding any means possible to earn a few precious dollars. This was a good night and I was filled with appreciation.

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