Journal Entry

Just a passing note here:  Last week I finished reading the Old Testament.  I had a goal that on our mission I would read all four standard works and was joyous to have completed the last book just two months before we go home.  I left the OT for last and confess that I’ve never really enjoyed it much.  In the early years of seminary teaching I taught the course a couple times and then often taught selective parts through the years of teaching institute.  But truth be known, I just don’t like the book all that much and have avoided teaching it as much as possible.  Though I think it’s true (though I can’t find it written), I heard once that one of the apostles said something to the affect that: “I read the Old Testament once, and I hope the Lord will forgive me!”  I’ve used that quote as my rationale for not reading and teaching the OT over the years, though of course I’ve done a lot of selective subject research in all the standard works, including the Old Testament.

A few observations from reading the Old Testament, and really studying it this time:

1) I absolutely loved many of the books, particularly the five books of Moses.  I found them very interesting and inspiring.  They strengthened my testimony of the role of prophets and of the Lord’s endless patience with his continually wayward children.  It is also apparent that God chooses prophets from among mortals who have significant flaws and who are not delivered from their own “less than ideal humanity” only by virtue of the call.  They were a work in progress – just as all of us are who serve in the Church.

2) I saw in the wayward, inconsistent, and “primitive” nature of the OT peoples (both of the House of Israel and their neighboring Gentiles), many similarities to the clan nature of Fijians with their superstitions and lack of spiritual maturity.  So many were briefly “convinced” by miracles and followed God but then were swayed by the “old ways, and old gods” and waffled back and forth between righteousness and rebellion.  They were not developed or educated societies and superstition and tradition often ruled them – similar to much of what we experience in Fiji.

3) The constant and unpopular role of the prophets was to preach repentance – condemnation and commands to repent dominate the last half of the OT, or maybe more.  The message of nearly every book is easily summarized as: a) God chose the Children of Israel and covenanted with them that if they obeyed him, He would bless and protect them; b) Israel forsook their covenants and went “whoring” after the world and neighboring gods and protection from countries of political and military might.  They continually sought protection in the arm of the flesh rather than the promises of God.  They broke their covenant promises, changed the ordinances, and would not hearken to the prophets sent to call them back from their wicked ways; c) As a result, God withdrew His protecting hand from them and other neighboring tribes and countries repeatedly conquered, humiliated, killed, and scattered the children of Israel; d) If they would repent, God would forgive them and “gather them home” again, both spiritually and physically to the lands of their inheritance.

4) I’m still baffled and uncomfortable with the language of much of the OT in its portrayal of a seemingly brutal and retributive God, and a primitive warring people.  It has been said that at this time, “flesh was cheap,” and so much of brutality and war characterized both the people of God, and most alarmingly, God himself.  It just doesn’t seem right.  If it is right, it doesn’t seem good.  On this issue, I’m disappointed in my own lack of understanding of culture, history, and divinity that inhibits me from appreciating this period better.  I personally know that, as stated in 2 Nephi 26: “God doeth nothing save it be for the benefit of the world, for He loveth the world.”  Because I know that to be true of His nature, I check my judgmental self while reading the OT and confess that God is just and if I understood better, I would see his loving hand and just ways in all these things.  I think that maturity will have to await the full growth I hope to experience in the next world when all these things we so poorly understand now will be made manifest to us.  So this is one of those things I’ve put on my “troubling” shelf until I can take it off under a better light and more mature vision of history and godliness.

5) Thank goodness for Joseph Smith’s Translation of the Bible, which makes more sensible, informative, and inspiring many of the otherwise troubling passages.  Just wish he had done more!

Journal Entry

Yesterday, Teivita Alafi, daughter Pasemaca, and son Josefa were baptized in the ocean at Vuna.  The Elders have taught them for months and while the kids (about 17 and 15) have been ready for some time, their father (late 40’s or early 50’s) has struggled.  His wife has been a member for years, though not active, and he has been a minister of a large Pentecostal church.  By and by, his wife’s faith brought him around and yesterday was a culmination of his long conversion process.  Like many Fijian men, particularly ministers, he was full of pride and for months has maintained that he wanted to be baptized so he could become a bishop.  His pride also led him (and his wife) to be critical of how the church leaders in Vuna function.  They do make lots of mistakes but his criticisms came from pride more than substance.  He also maintained doctrinal positions contrary to the restoration truths and that held him up.

One early morning, about 3-4am, I was awoken to a very strong prompting to take the elders and President Lesuma and go talk to him about his pride problem.  The Lord led me to prepare a review of the pride struggles of Sydney Rigdon, Martin Harris, and Peter along with taking him a copy of President Benson’s talk on Pride.  We had a very good visit and spoke to him clearly about his pride problem and the potential it held to take him far from the path of faith.  For the first time, we really felt the message got to him and from that point on, he began to humble himself and really prepare for baptism.

I wanted to describe the unique scene of the baptism, at least to me it was so utterly Fijian that it is worth describing.  We arrived in Vuna about 12:30pm and stopped at the butcher shop – the only one on Taveuni.  The shop is about a quarter mile from the spot on the beach where the baptisms are held.  As we came out of the shop, Teivita and his wife were walking by and we joined them and others in the walk down the beach to the designated spot.  We asked where their daughter was and they said she was on her way (everyone, of course, walks – no cars).  “Where is Josefa?” We inquired.  “Oh, he’s down on the beach already,” was the reply.

We arrived at our traditional baptism location and on the way noticed several spear-fisherman snorkeling along the water, perhaps 50 yards offshore.  It’s a daily scene to see people fishing with hand-lines, nets, from dug-out canoes, and spear fishing so we didn’t think much of it.  But as we gathered for the baptismal service we noticed a group of spear-fisherman swimming towards the shore where we were.  Soon, they began emerging from the water and walking up on the beach.  Then we recognized them as members and investigators who were coming to the baptism!  They took their fins and masks off and quietly joined our group for the service.  Included in the group was Josefa who walked up to his parents and was handed his baptismal clothes that he put on over his wet shorts and prepared for the service.  I baptized the 17 year-old daughter Pasemaca (at her request), then Josefa was baptized by Elder Abplinalp and finally their father, Teivita, was baptized by Elder Mayberry – he was overjoyed and proclaimed this as the best day of his life. After the program, the fisherman put on their gear again and slipped back in the water to continue fishing.  What a unique experience! So Fijian, so typical, so amazing to me.  Life is simple here and the daily search for food goes on, baptism or not!

Letter Home

Dear Matthew, Jessica, Sara, Birch, Emily, Ryan, Leah, Geoff, Seth, Caroline, Laura, Jared, and Luke,

It’s Christmas Eve day here and I just wanted to write you all a letter.  Had we known just what weather and other factors were in Fiji, we likely would have left in April instead of October for our mission service.  It would have meant only one Christmas away and two “cooler” seasons instead of two hot seasons!

We think of all of you and pray for you each day.  We were told that while we served, our family would be protected.  We likely mistook that assurance to mean there wouldn’t be serious challenges – that certainly has not been the case.  So many of you have faced serious difficulties that we know of and likely many challenges of which we know not.  We wish we could have been by your side, instead of relegated to long distance contact.  Thank you all for sticking together so well and supporting each other.  That has been such a source of satisfaction for us and softened the pain of not being there.  We know that the Lord has blessed you and protected our family from worse harm.  We also know that many serious challenges are largely endured in the privacy, and sometimes loneliness, of the individual soul.  President David O. McKay once said, that; “the most difficult battles of life are fought within the secret, silent chambers of the soul.”  Thank you all for being faithful through these difficulties when no one else is aware, can completely understand, or, perhaps even give help.

As was said by one of the pioneer company: “We came to know God in our extremities.”   I have felt this to be true.  Though terribly hard to endure these difficulties and what really are awful ironies, they have ministered to me.  I often think of President Kimball, who suffered so terribly during his life when he shared a poem he was fond of entitled, “Pain Stayed So Long:”

Pain stayed so long I said to him today,

“I will not have you with me any more.”

I stamped my foot and said, “Be on your way,”

And paused there, startled at the look he wore.

“I, who have been your friend,” he said to me,

“I, who have been your teacher – all you know

Of understanding love, of sympathy,

And patience, I have taught you.  Shall I go?”

He spoke the truth, this strange unwelcome guest;

I watched him leave, and knew that he was wise.

He left a heart grown tender in my breast,

He left a far, clear vision in my eyes.

I dried my tears, and lifted up a song –

Even for one who’d tortured me so long.

(Author unknown. Quoted by Spencer W. Kimball in,

 Faith Precedes the Miracle, Deseret Book, 1973, p. 99)

Though I often cannot see it, I have complete faith and confidence in the assurance that “the Lord God … doeth not anything save it be for the benefit of the world: for he loveth the world” (2 Nephi 26:24-25, 33).  That promise has given me more comfort and assurance than any other scripture.  He loves each of us, in that we can have perfect confidence even if we cannot understand the challenges which beset us and may seem so wrong from our limited and mortal perspective; “for he doeth that which is good among the children of men.”

We occasionally have conversations with you, or notice on the internet, that former friends and acquaintances have apparently lost their testimonies and are struggling to find their place.  They seem to have left the faith either partially or completely, or hope to mold the Church to be what they think it should be like.  It breaks our hearts to see this, and we know many of them are close friends of yours.  Though I’ve had the opportunity during a long career to read and ponder on challenging issues of Church doctrine and history, I realize that when it comes to the most vexing issues, we often know so very little.  I appreciate the frankness of Nephi: “I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things” (1 Nephi 11:17).  However, what I do not know has not persuaded me that I know nothing.  I know that God lives and that we are His divine children and this IS His Church.

I feel great sorrow for those who struggle with their testimonies, but want you to know at this Christmas season that I know that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God, and our divine and kind Savior.  I know that the Church is precisely what the Lord solemnly declared it to be, and that Joseph Smith was truly a prophet whom the Lord loved and guided and “gave power to lay the foundation of this church, and to bring it forth out of obscurity and out of darkness, the only true and living church upon the face of the whole earth, which I, the Lord, am well pleased” (D&C 1:30).  I also know that testimonies are the most delicate of all living things.  They must be nurtured by faith, study, service, obedience, and repentance.  Truly, we only know the truth of the gospel by the power of the Spirit, which “dwelleth not in unholy temples.”  Your testimonies and individual faithfulness continue to be the greatest of pleasure for Mom and I, thank you – thank you.

We are finally looking toward the end of our mission, we will be so glad to return home and see you again.  We’ve certainly had our own difficulties and challenges, we’ve had to find our faith anew and figure out how to move forward without a critical and judgmental spirit.  Mom and I have grown ever closer together and I’m so grateful for this opportunity to see this wonderful woman adapt and fully engage in our callings.  I will never forget the beauty of her kneeling on a mat, with bugs crawling all over us and bodies dripping with sweat, sharing her sweet and gentle testimony.  It is a scene I will hold in my heart and ever be grateful for.

Our love to each of you, and my deepest gratitude to you for your faithful and loving care expressed to us.  It helped and made a difference to talk with you over the months and strengthened our resolve to be faithful. Thank you.

Dad
___________________________

I wrote the following poem to comfort Elder Luke Smith, who was off on a lonely island and feeling isolated and challenged:

Well Done My Faithful Son

In a lowly manger

On a dusty road,

The Savior of the world

Bore his heavy load.

He knew the road was long

He knew all would not hear,

Yet every step and every word

He gave His Father dear.

We follow in His footsteps

We labor diligently,

Our hearts and lips proclaim

His matchless majesty.

He decides the time and place

For us to labor by His grace.

We work until our time is done

And hope to hear the blessed words,

“Well done my faithful son.”

(Elder Tom Sherry, Fiji Suva Mission, December 2012)